If you are struggling with working on the memory, use the four skills discussed at the beginning of this process. If you need a reminder, here are their descriptions.
Container Calm Scene Sensory Grounding ShopVacIf too much of the bad memory is playing or too much distress appears when you look at it briefly, immediately use ShopVac and Sensory Grounding.
Here are some options you can try:
Immediately stop as soon as you realize this is happening. Catch that distress/intrusion, contain it, then push it so far that it cannot come back in the 30 seconds you will be in the calm scene.
Ask them to wait their turn or go into a separate container. We can work on only one memory at a time in these approaches.
If it is taking you a while to container the distress, you may be over-activating the memory and having too much distress appear. Try looking at the memory for 1/20th of the time that you looked at it last round.
It is probably not a good idea to try to access this memory right now. Ask if there is another memory that would be more tolerable to work on now. Or, come back to this memory another time.
You may need to do this for 30 minutes before you notice any real change in the memory. Are you thinking about a single bad memory very quickly, containing the distress, and going into your calm scene and doing blinks as guided? If so, is your calm scene causing you to have a pleasant experience over and over? If not, change your calm scene.